A week ago, a friend asked my opinion of gospel singer Deitrick Haddon. At the time, I recalled owning a CD of his several years ago but I hadn’t kept up with him through the years so I didn’t have much to say other than Meh!. I decided to go on an expedition to better understand why my friend’s nose was turned up in the air. A quick go.ogle search of his name yielded results that included a recently released gospeltainment film called Blessed & Cursed. Immediately, my interest was piqued. What could this be about? I’ll just have to see.

A friend once told me there’d far be less accidents if people stayed in their own lane and honestly I couldn’t agree more. There are far too many hapless morons out there causing horrific accidents in the name of art ’cause they’ve steered into the wrong lane. Sadly, most, if not all, of these twits have driven into the wrong lane intentionally. It’s pathetic. Well, let me tell you something you may not know, when a non-actor steers into my lane and the result is an disastrous hit and run accident, it pisses me the fuck off and I have to stand up and cry FOUL.

Blessed & Cursed was a catastrophe on every front. The story, the writing and the acting were all bunk. Oh gawd I laughed throughout and the film’s not even a comedy. The movie makers attempted to tell the story of a modern day David and his struggles with Saul. Yea, about that………..FAIL!! Honestly, I wouldn’t force my worst enemy to sit through a viewing of that trash. It’s so unfortunate that many in the ministry not only feel it’s acceptable to sell the saints less than stellar goods but expect a pat on the back for their efforts because it was created in the name of the lord. Uhm, no. I call bullshit. Gospel and Gospeltainment community listen up, get your shit together and hire professionals. Yea, that means actually paying people to work and quit working your relationships to get freebies.

Believe me when I say the acting was HORRIFYING. Multi-car pile up on interstate 10. Apparently, someone told dipshitrick he could act and/or his acting was passable. Negative! He wasn’t the only culprit though. The cast was full of bad actors and the desire to bitchslap every last one of them grew with every bad line reading. I take that shit personally.

The editing was shockingly flagrant. Cuts and transitions from scene to scene were abrupt and jarring and handled with the care a toddler shows a rattle toy.

The film’s story was dipshitrick’s brainchild while the script was penned by another person. The writing was so damn superficial I think an 8th grader could’ve written a far more complex and compelling story. Whether it’s true or not, I’m going to believe the screenwriter had never written a film before because the shit was baaaadd!! More importantly, it was unacceptable. I don’t know who you are lady, but what the hell were you thinking when you wrote that garbage you called a script? You too need to be bitchslapped for writing that drivel. I could not believe how asinine the story and character development was in the film. Actually, that’s too generous, I can’t give you any credit for character development, it was nonexistent. Oh, and whose idea was it to have all of the lead characters converge at church in the final scene with no rhyme or reason given for many of them being present? Are you fucking kidding me? Just writing characters into a scene for the purpose of making it feel like there was a pseudo altar call is just plain ridiculous. Speaking of which, why was that even in the film? In your limited wisdom and creativity, was that the best idea you had to resolve the story and to show re-dedication to God? You are so dumb. Really, really dumb.* In case you had forgotten, you’re writing a movie. Altar calls are for gospel concerts and church services. Free your mind and actually write a few additional scenes that resolve the conflict in the film properly, ‘stead of phoning it in cause you don’t know what in the hell you are doing.

Hey Mr. Director! You know your ass is a bum. There were too many foul and odorous things to point out each offense but I will mention that wack death sequence. Appalling. Absolutely appalling. You are a fucking disgrace.

Let us watch some of the awesome wonder of Blessed & Cursed

Hysterical! Bad acting (BA) galore. Damita. Dipshitrick. Please stop the shenanigans!

Oh dear! Ouch! That’s painful

Bwahahaha…this is part of the death sequence…ROFL…hahahaha…Ok, I had to watch this scene a few times it was so bad. Too funny! “did you call 911?” Dipshitrick, please stop!

Giggle!! Pretty believable, wasn’t it?

Ok, wait one fucking minute. Do you hear what I hear folks? Uhm, Dipshitrick used Prince’s Purple Rain to write a gospel tune?!! HeHates is NOT pleased. Did you think I wouldn’t notice the similarities? Dude you have lost your damn mind, further proving to me how wack you are.

Let me be clear, you are not an actor. You suck and your film stank to the high heavens. Seriously, you need to sit your ass down in a corner somewhere for a time out and think twice about ever getting involved in film production again. Get your muthafuckin’ mind right, ’cause right about now you’re obviously on some bullshit! Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should. Know your gifting (and limits) and stay in your own fucking lane. Stick to writing music and doing all that squealhollering you do on record.

I want answers. Who produced this shit? Who financed this fucking trainwreck? Who did the casting? Whose idea was it to have all of those damn gospel celeb cameos? Huh? Huh? I want answers. Not a competent sole in the bunch. You Kingdom racketeers need to repent.

I pity the fools who spent their hard earned cash buying that craptastic film on DVD. You have my deepest sympathies. You deserved much better.

*shout out to antoine dodson and the gregory brothers