Soon as I heard that Simon Cowell would no longer be apart of Idol I feared his replacement would be some bleeding heart type who was unable or unwilling to give honest feedback to the Idol contestants. Last night’s edition of Idol confirmed my fears as I watched Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson fawn over several Idol performances that were lackluster to downright shitty. Of the remaining 12 male contestants vying to make the Idol top 10 only 3 guys seemed ready for the big stage and bright lights. I expected much better than what I witnessed. It was bothersome watching the Idol judges praise mediocrity. Grr!

Let’s discuss last night’s performers:

1. Clint Jun Gamboa sang Superstition (Steve Wonder): It was a pretty energetic rendition that sort of drove me crazy. Midway through his performance I was ready to change channels and give up on Idol before the contest had even gotten started. Clint joyfully skipped back forth across the stage singing his little heart out. I wasn’t crazy about his offering but after my nerves relaxed I realized the kid has a voice.

2. Jovany Barreto sang I’ll Be (Edwin McCain): Snoozefest! Could this guy be anymore boring? I hardly remember him.

3. Jordan Dorsey sang OMG (Usher): What was he thinking? I can’t even begin to describe what ungodly and unnatural thing Jordan did to Usher’s song. Whatever it was, it was an abomination that needed to be condemned to hell.

4. Tim Halperin sang Rob Thomas’ Streetcorner Symphony (Come On Over): Tim delivered an awkward and lackluster performance. I couldn’t wait for it to end. Watching him move about the stage and sing a tad bit out of tune was uncomfortable.

5. Brett Loewenstern sang Light My Fire (The Door): Brett wins the award for silliest performance of the evening. Offbeat movement + hair tossing (ad nauseum) + terrible song selection = waste of fucking time. Send this kid back to wherever he came from. Painful

6. James Durbin sang You’ve Got Another Thing Comin‘ (Judas Priest): The rocker dude. Meh! The vocals were clean but the performance was lacking. He picked a terrible song for his voice.

7. Robbie Rosen sang Angels (Sarah MacLachlan): Robbie butchered MacLachlan’s beautiful song, vocally wandering aimlessly around the song’s melody switching in and out of his chest and falsetto voice. It was an ill-advised song choice. The silly grin he had on the face the entire time aggravated me. He really thought he was killing it. NOT!

8. Scott McCreery sang Letters From Home (John Michael Montgomery): Thankfully, Scott had the foresight to sing a song that fit his voice and style. It was a strong performance. Am I the only one who thinks Scott resembles the Mad Magazine character just without the freckles and gap teeth?

9. Stefano Langone sang Just The Way You Are (Bruno Mars): Ugh! Stefano was pretty weak and not because he can’t sing. His rendition of Just The Way You Are was emotionally flat. The vocals were cookie cutter and unspectacular. He was missing the true connection with the material he was singing.

10. Paul McDonald sang Maggie Mae (Rod Stewart): Paul is definitely a stylist. I wouldn’t label him a strong vocalist at all. However, if he can hone his thing he could sell a few albums. That said, I found his quirky and offbeat performance underwhelming. 30 seconds into it, I was ready for him to get off the stage. I don’t see him winning it all.

11. Jacob Lusk sang A House Is Not A Home (Luther Vandross): Jacob probably delivered the most flawless vocal performance of the evening. However, I was very disturbed by Jacob’s many facades. The fake humility and expressions of gratitude as he listened to the Judges’ critics; the exaggerated finger wagging to the heavens and reverence to God; the Freddie Jackson like strut downstage when the song began; and the Whitney Houston-esque quivering jaw/lips to punctuate his vibrato to close out his performance. I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in the longest time. The man has issues.

12. Casey Abrams sang I Put A Spell On You (Screamin Jay Hawkins): I have no words for the bullshit Casey called a singing performance. The song choice was idiotic and his menacing, growling delivery of it was asinine.

Overall, the performances were shit. Only 2 or 3 of the vocalists sang songs that fit their voices and really showcased their talent. Hopefully, the Ladies will be a hundred times better this evening.